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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25860079">Trauma</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepudz/pseuds/thepudz'>thepudz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra Needs Therapy (She-Ra), Comfort, F/F, Hugs, Kissing, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Romance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:07:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25860079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepudz/pseuds/thepudz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Even with Horde Prime gone, the mental effects of his invasion still scar Catra. From being brainwashed to almost losing Adora, Catra is left with clear trauma that troubles her sleep almost every night. Thankfully, she's not alone anymore. (Based off the Trauma art piece by BewilderedBird)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>285</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is based off the 'Trauma' art piece by BewilderedBird on Twitter. Please go check them out, their stuff is absolutely fantastic and I adore it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Adora, please wake up… Don’t leave me…”</p>
<p>The world was ending, and Catra was about to lose hers.</p>
<p>She held Adora in her arms as the Heart of Etheria shined the horrid green around her. The failsafe on Adora’s chest was the same color, reflecting upon Catra’s face as she looked down at Adora.</p>
<p>Adora had fallen, and Catra clung to her. She thought of all the times she had tormented this girl; tortured her friends, traumatized her, destroyed her homes, and all for what? Catra had nothing to show for it. She just wanted to do one good thing with her life.</p>
<p>“Adora… Adora…” The air was being sucked out of Catra’s lungs. She didn’t care about princesses or Horde Prime or Etheria or anything at that moment. All she needed was Adora, and she wasn’t waking up. No matter how much Catra shook her, Adora’s eyes were closed and wouldn’t open.</p>
<p>Catra put an ear close to Adora’s mouth. No breath. She pressed it against her chest. No heartbeat. “No, no, no, no, no… Adora, don’t you dare…” The panic started to set in. Dread, anxiety and fear filled Catra’s veins in an instant as she scrambled for something to do. Something to bring Adora back. Even if she had to give her life, she needed to save the one person who even cared about her.</p>
<p>“Adora… Adora, I love you, please don’t go…” The words spilt out, but Catra didn’t care. She placed a hand on the Adora's cheek, staring down at her, and she saw droplets of tears spill onto Adora’s face. Her own tears. Catra didn’t know she had started crying. Everything was blurry, and she could only hear white noise. “I love you, I love you, you can’t go… You can’t go, dammit…”</p>
<p>Denial was the first stage, but even Catra refused to admit that. This was the one thing she was afraid of, the one thing she dreaded. That she would be responsible for Adora’s death.</p>
<p>Death. Catra didn’t even want to think about death right now, but it all came flooding to mind in an instant. Death. Death. Death. Adora’s death. Adora dying. Catra had never felt so useless in her entire life as she pushed her forehead against Adora’s. “No… You can’t take her… Take me, not her! Not her!” She wasn’t sure who she was speaking to as she grabbed Adora by her cheeks and embraced her. She wrapped her lifeless body in her arms, and the first sob choked out. “I deserve to die, not her! Not… not her… It needs to be me…”</p>
<p>Catra didn’t care about her own death. She had never placed value in her own life, but she placed everything into Adora’s. Adora didn’t deserve this. She was always trying to get herself killed for her friends. Catra hated that. She hated how reckless Adora was. This was everything she had feared, and worse.</p>
<p>“You realize this is your fault, right?”</p>
<p>Catra felt an icy chill down her spine. She looked up and saw a monster standing before her. Horde Prime. “You… were a distraction,” he said. “If you hadn’t been here, perhaps Adora could have succeeded… I suppose I should thank you. You were the one that killed her. You spend so long trying to ruin her, and now you’ve done it.”</p>
<p>Catra wanted to scream, but she felt like she couldn’t. In fact, she couldn’t breathe in the first place. Horde Prime smiled down at her, and she felt paralyzed. Tears continued to flow down her cheeks as the world shook around her. “Although, I wouldn’t be so simple minded. It’s not just Adora that you killed. But… everyone on the surface of this infuriating planet. Scorpia, Entrapta… They were depending on She-Ra. You took that from them.” Horde Prime stood over Catra, and she scrambled away, still clutching Adora’s body.</p>
<p>Except it wasn’t there. Adora’s body had completely disappeared. Everything turned to darkness around Catra, except for the glowing green eyes of Horde Prime. “I suppose you always wanted to be worth something… To be a big, bad villain… Well, how much more worse can you get than being responsible for all the deaths of your dear friends? Of an entire planet? Of the one you love? I mean, it’s only up from there. You… are a worthless being.”</p>
<p>Catra lunged at Horde Prime, but he disappeared. Along with him, Catra saw her hands begin to fade away. Her arm, her torso, all crumbling to dust. She wanted to scream, but she didn’t even have lungs anymore. Everything faded away…</p>
<p>And it was all her fault.</p><hr/>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Sweat covered Catra as she awoke with a start. It was still dark out, and she was laying in bed next to Adora. She sat up, and the feeling of choking was still there. Catra gasped suddenly, but she was still choking. Air. She needed air. Catra couldn’t breathe.</p>
<p>These nightmares were still happening. Even though she was sleeping in the same bed as Adora now, even though they defeated Horde Prime and everything was okay, Catra was left with mental scars. She hyperventilated, and felt another panic attack begin to creep its way into her system.</p>
<p>She glanced at Adora, still asleep. Catra didn’t want to wake her. She tried to stand up, but every limb in her body felt numb. She sucked in air every five seconds or so, still choking as tears streamed. She looked at her hand. It was shaking, and she couldn’t keep it still no matter how hard she tried.</p>
<p>Catra let out a sob. It was accidental, and she instantly covered her mouth. She can’t wake Adora. This was the fifth night in a row, and she was sick of bothering her. She was a burden, not only to Adora, but to everyone. She knew that everyone still didn’t trust her, and that she was still seen as the bad guy. Nothing she could ever do would get rid of that fact.</p>
<p>So why should anyone care if she had a panic attack? Catra always tried to hide them, but Adora, stupid, dumb, superhero Adora always had to save her. Catra just wanted Adora to have one night of rest.</p>
<p>“Catra…?”</p>
<p>Dammit.</p>
<p>Adora slowly woke, and Catra knew she had to calm down. But trying to calm down made her even more anxious. What if Adora got annoyed? What if Adora decided to leave her? What if it got worse? In trying to calm down, Catra only made herself worse. She opened her mouth to tell Adora she was fine, but all that came out was a sob, a gasp, and more hyperventilating. Adora suddenly sat up upon seeing her love like this. “Catra, Catra! Hey, hey, I’m here…”</p>
<p>Adora reached out to touch Catra. She didn’t want to startle her, or make it worse. Adora knew these panic attacks took time, and that smothering the person might make it worse. Catra hated having to burden Adora again. “I’m… I’m sorry…” Catra choked out.</p>
<p>“You have nothing to be sorry for, okay?” Adora spoke in the most gentle tone she could as Catra let out another three sobs. “It’s okay, Catra… You're allowed to let this out… I love you so much.”</p>
<p>Stupid, dumb, superhero Adora.</p>
<p>Catra threw her arm around Adora’s shoulders. She buried her head into Adora’s neck, and clung so tightly she was afraid she was choking Adora. Almost instantly, only after Catra had initiated the embrace, did Adora return it. She felt Adora’s soft hand rub her left arm, and felt tingles as Adora’s other hand stroke her short hair. “I’m right here… I am right here…” Adora whispered.</p>
<p>“You… you were… gone and… and Horde Prime, he… I… killed you and… I…” Catra could barely form a sentence. Her entire body was shaking from the anxiety that the nightmare had brought upon her. It only made her cling to Adora even tighter. She took care to not scratch Adora as much as she could, but sometimes it was just beyond her control. Years of being haunted by Shadow Weaver caused her to be on the defense always after waking up.</p>
<p>“He’s gone, Catra… He’s never coming back. I am still here. You saved my life.” Adora kissed Catra’s forehead. It was soft, small, and yet Catra felt a flow of love and comfort spring throughout her body, reaching the ends of her fingertips and spreading to her toes. Adora’s kisses were what gave Catra the warmth and security she needed her entire life.</p>
<p>Adora’s hand on the back of her head stroked her hair, her fingertips gently rubbing every strand of Catra’s hair. How much time had passed? Five minutes? Thirty minutes? An hour? Slowly, the shaking of Catra’s body begun to subside. She eventually came around, and felt oxygen return to her lungs. Her throat opened back up, and she begun to practice the breathing techniques Perfuma had tried to teach her.</p>
<p>In through the nose. Out through the mouth.</p>
<p>She felt dumb doing it, but Catra slowly felt oxygen begin to fill her with life. Her hands slipped away from Adora’s body, and instead she grabbed Adora’s hands and held them. “You okay?” Adora asked.</p>
<p>“I… think so,” Catra sighed. “I hate waking you. I shouldn’t be doing this, just… freaking out all the time.”</p>
<p>“I get scared too, Catra,” Adora tenderly stroked Catra’s cheek, and Catra grabbed her hand, kissing her palm. “What if he comes back? What if I did something wrong? You’re not alone, Catra. We’ve only just gotten into peace and I don’t think anyone is used to it. It’s… bizarre to not have to fear for your life anymore.”</p>
<p>“But…” Catra sighed. “I was the one that was making you afraid for all that time. I was… I…”</p>
<p>“Catra. Please look at me.” Catra looked up and met Adora’s eyes. Those ocean blue eyes that she could get lost in for years. “I love you. Alright? I love you so, so much. I am always going to be here for you. It is not your fault what Horde Prime did to you. What he did to our planet. And I promise you’re not burdening me, or annoying me, or… anything. I will be here as much as you need me to. I don’t expect this to go away in a day, but…” Adora smiled. “I can at least try to make it a bit easier.”</p>
<p>Stupid, dumb, superhero Adora.</p>
<p>Catra stared at Adora’s smile. At her lips. She looked to Adora’s eyes, wordlessly asking to kiss her. Adora moved in, and Catra did the same.</p>
<p>Her lips sent chills of security through Catra. The kiss that told her that everything was okay. That she had nothing to fear as long as they were together. Catra just wanted to kiss Adora forever, but thanks to her stupid bodily need to breathe, they had to separate.</p>
<p>“… Thanks,” Catra said. “Thank you. I… think I’ll be okay now.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Adora tenderly stroke Catra’s cheek with her thumb as they slowly lay down together on the bed. Catra turned away from Adora, but allowed Adora to cuddle her from behind as they lay together. Catra held Adora’s arm close to her, and closed her eyes.</p>
<p>They slept together, and Catra felt safe for now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Fright Zone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for all the love and support! It's been a long time since I've felt so inspired to write fanfiction, and it's all thanks to you. I have a general outline of where I want this story to go, and I really hope y'all continue to enjoy our journey with these dorks. Thank you! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Fright Zone. The closest thing Catra could consider a home for most of her life, now overgrown in nature and creatures. It was odd seeing it not covered in smoke and machinery. Horde soldiers no longer patrolled around, no weapons to manage, and no Kyle to use as a scapegoat. It was simply… a place. Not a military base.</p><p>Despite all that, Catra looked at it and all she felt was a sense of dread. Even with all the changes, all this place reminded her of was abuse and abandonment. The place Shadow Weaver called her worthless every day. The place where Scorpia called her a bad friend and left her behind. The place where she lied about Entrapta’s betrayal and sent her to Beast Island for no reason. The place where Hordak tried to kill her.</p><p>Catra stared out and almost wanted to run away. Anywhere but here. This place only gave her nightmares, and left her as a shell…</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>Catra’s consciousness snapped back. Adora was a few steps ahead of her, looking over her shoulder. She could tell Catra was distracted by this place, and with valid reason. Adora herself barely wanted to return. “Huh?” Catra exclaimed. “Oh, yeah, I’m… I’m good.”</p><p>“You sure?” Adora asked, stepping up to Catra and placing a tender hand on her shoulder. “We don’t have to come back just yet, you know. We can leave it for another day,” Adora spoke. Catra put a hand over Adora’s on her shoulder and softly sighed, nuzzling her cheek against Adora’s warm hand.</p><p>“No… No, it’s fine. Lets just get this over with. Just a quick check and we can leave, right?” Catra asked, and Adora nodded. Catra clung to Adora’s hand. As long as they had each other, nothing really bad could happen to them. And so, Catra held Adora’s hand as they entered the source of her nightmares.</p><p>The usual path she took around the Fright Zone was mostly blocked off by the occasional tree or bush, but it wasn’t impossible to navigate. Small critters frolicked around them every now and then as Catra looked around. The red hue that used to surround this place was instead replaced by a bright, blue sky. The beaming moon of the day shining upon them. </p><p>“Is it weird to say that the Fright Zone looks… really beautiful?” Adora asks.</p><p>“Yeah… No… Yeah, that’s definitely weird to say,” Catra pondered for a moment. “But weird things always come out of your mouth so it's nothing special.”</p><p>“I do not always say weird things!” Adora protested, immediately turning her attention to her smirking girlfriend.</p><p>“So it’s normal to say ‘For the honor of Grayskull!’ to activate your superhero mode? Oh, and don’t even get me started on the things Scorpia told me you say when your sword was infected with that weird virus,” Catra was clearly gaining the upper hand in this conversation as Adora’s face turned red. “I almost wish I had footage of it to use whenever you annoyed me. The legendary She-Ra acting like a playful, giggling cadet!”</p><p>“Okay, first of all, I only got all… weird like that twice!” Adora pointed at Catra, who was too busy laughing to listen to whatever Adora was saying. “And second of all… shut up. Need I remind you that you made friends with a shapeshifter who infiltrated us whilst pretending to be a cute, little girl?”</p><p>“Hey, don’t get mad just because Double Trouble outsmarted you. Besides, they’re super fun to be around! You should hang out together some time,” Catra suggests.</p><p>“… They make fun of my hair poof,” Adora mopes, using that as the only excuse for why she hasn’t talked much to the master of trickery shapeshifter.</p><p>The banter was enough for Catra to relax a little bit. There was still that sense of unease, dread and anxiety that came with being in a place that had haunted her for years, but now that she was with Adora and open about her love with her, it felt a tad easier.</p><p>Soon enough, the two of them were inside. Even the inside was overgrown with nature, leaving some doors blocked. The girls made a beeline, however, for the place they used to sleep together in. The bedroom for many squadrons, including Adora and Catra.</p><p>What started as a one night thing, with Catra sleeping at the foot of Adora’s bed, turned into something the two of them did for years. Catra always curled up at Adora’s feet when they slept together during the time when Adora was in the Horde. Catra made the excuse that her own bed was horrible, but really, it felt nice to have that sense of closeness to Adora.</p><p>The bedroom was relatively unscathed, with only a few shrubs here and there. Catra went over to the lockers where she and Adora kept most of their gear. When Adora abandoned the Horde, it was elected that most of her stuff be tossed or burnt, and unfortunately, most of it was.</p><p>But Catra kept a few items around.</p><p>She opened her own locker and found most of her and Adora's gear still there. It was mostly useless now, since she had no need for Horde weaponry or combat guides to fighting Princesses, but the most precious items were at the back of the locker, where she could hide things from Shadow Weaver.</p><p>She reached in and grabbed an old piece of paper. It was a rough drawing Catra had made as a kid. Two girls, drawn crudely, but almost anyone could tell it was Catra and Adora. They stood together with a heart drawn around them. Something Catra made when she was young and starting to realize her feelings for her best friend.</p><p>It was something she struggled with for years. Whether to tell Adora or not. She had always heard that telling your friend you loved them was a one step way into ruining everything. Catra was stuck on what to do, but Adora just… left. Catra stared at the love heart picture of the two of them, and almost wanted to tell her younger self that everything would be okay.</p><p>“Whatcha got there?”</p><p>Catra immediately leapt at the sound of Adora’s voice and immediately hid the picture back in the locker, slamming the door shut. However, it seems as if the lock was broken, since the door just creaked back open again after bouncing off the locker. “Is… Is that my stuff?” Adora asks as she looks over Catra’s shoulder, recognizing a few things.</p><p>Catra was doomed already.</p><p>“You… really kept one of my jackets?” Adora asked, holding out a red Horde jacket. It was the same one Adora always wore. She had multiple. Most of them were discarded, but Catra kept just one. Catra’s face went red as she looked at the floor. She kept that jacket for one reason only.</p><p>“It… it smelled like you.”</p><p>Catra felt like she could die right there, and almost expected Adora to cry herself laughing. But instead, Adora put a hand over her own heart. “Aww… Catra, that’s so sweet…” Adora gushed.</p><p>“Don’t make fun of me!” Catra protested.</p><p>“I’m not! I swear, I’m not!” Adora held up her hands defensively. “I just… I’m surprised, is all. I thought you hated me.”</p><p>“… I thought I did too,” Catra mumbled. “I was going to burn that one. Like the rest of everything you left behind. But I just… couldn’t. It would be like letting go of you entirely… I always thought you were going to come back. That things would… change.”</p><p>Catra couldn’t stand to look at Adora’s face. She wasn’t used to being this vulnerable, and it was still only around Adora. However, she soon found Adora’s hand touching her own, and looked up to see Adora smiling sweetly at her. “Hey… I love you so much.”</p><p>Catra looked at Adora, before scratching her hair, her face growing an even more intense shade of red. “… I love you too.”</p><p>Adora searched through the locker some more. She pulled out a small photograph. “It’s… us. Yeesh, bad hair day for you?”</p><p>“You’re one to talk about bad hair,” Catra scoffed. She glanced at the photo of Catra and Adora with Kyle, Lonnie and Rogelio. “That’s… the day we got assigned our squad. We were just happy to pass basic training… Shadow Weaver was beaming over you.”</p><p>“And you barely scraped by,” Adora reminisced. “I’m so glad those three found love within each other. I could almost tell it from day one.”</p><p>“You could not!” Catra snorted. “They barely talked to each other for ages!” As Catra stared at the photo, she remembered Lonnie. Specifically, her face after all those times when Catra forced her into missions that were nearly impossible. How she acted after Kyle was injured. Those three really loved each other, and Catra was their nightmare.</p><p>Catra felt her smile fade.</p><p>“We… We should get going,” Catra suddenly spoke in a softer voice. “There’s a few more rooms to check out.”</p><p>“Catra? Did I say something wrong?” Adora asked, taking Catra’s hand in her own. Catra shook her head.</p><p>“I just… I just want to go somewhere else. Please.” Catra had almost shut down as Adora slowly stood up.</p><p>“Okay… Can I take this stuff with us, at least?” Adora asked, and Catra simply nodded, slowly walking away. This place wasn’t the happy memories of her and Adora anymore.</p><p>This place was never meant to be for happy memories.</p><p>As they advanced to the upper levels, they barely spoke. Each room brought about at least one bad memory for Catra. The room she held Entrapta prisoner in. The room where Shadow Weaver told her how useless she is. Most of them were simply empty, save for the occasional Horde weapon that wasn’t of much use anymore.</p><p>“… Alright, I think we’ve got one more place to look at,” Adora suggested as they finished searching what was meant to be the final room. Catra looked at Adora, confused. “The rooftop! Come on!”</p><p>Adora ran ahead and Catra took some time before following her. She was almost surprised to find the pathway nearly the same as always to the roof. To the place her and Adora used to hide from everything. She felt the fresh breeze hit her as they went outside, and climbed up to the spot overlooking the entirety of the Fright Zone.</p><p>What used to be an endless landscape of fire and misery was now covered in a field of flowers, green and life. A flock of animals Catra had never seen before ran around in the far off distance as she slowly sat down next to Adora, overlooking Etheria.</p><p>She felt Adora’s head lean on her shoulder, and Catra wrapped an arm around Adora's shoulders, holding her girlfriend close. “Been a while since we’ve come here, huh?” Adora asked.</p><p>“Yeah… I used to get scared that you were gonna fall off and Shadow Weaver would kill me,” Catra said. “But… back at the Princess Prom… I was the one falling. And you caught me. I… I was always confused about that. There was your one chance to off me and… you saved me. Why?”</p><p>“Why…” Adora was almost shocked at that question. “Why would I ever let you fall? It would destroy me if I ever let that happen to you. I never wanted you to die. I was always afraid of that. I saw you slip and… I thought you were gone. You looked so scared…”</p><p>“But if you had let me fall… I… A lot of people would be happier if I was dead,” Catra sighed. “I’m… an awful person, Adora. I abused Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio after you left. They were so excited to see you as squad leader but… they got stuck with me. And I drove them so far that they abandoned the Horde too… I drove almost everyone away…” Catra brought her knees up to her chest. “I’m afraid I’m gonna drive you away again.”</p><p>They sat in silence for a few moments, before she felt Adora’s hand on her own. She looked up to see Adora staring at her worryingly. “Catra, I… I get scared when you talk like this. About death. I was scared for so long that I would lose you… And I’m not saying this to blame you. I promise. I just… Please, please know that I am never going to leave you ever again. Neither will Scorpia. Neither will Entrapta. We’re all here for you and we all care for you so, so much. I love you beyond… beyond words. I don't want you to go.”</p><p>Catra looked into Adora’s eyes as she spoke. She took Adora’s hand and placed it on her own cheek. “… You’re right. I’m sorry. I… I just… don’t really like myself, Adora.”</p><p>Adora stroked Catra’s cheek with her thumb tenderly. “Well… If there’s one thing I could do in my life that I could be proud of… It would be trying to help you love yourself just a bit, Catra. Nothing would be more important than that.”</p><p>It was a conflicting mood. On the one hand, Catra felt a sense of deep warmth at those words. That Adora would never leave her. That Adora would help her through this time of stress and turmoil. That Adora would help Catra learn to love herself.</p><p>On the other hand… Catra had no idea how Adora felt about herself. Catra felt as if she was taking away Adora’s time and using up all of her energy. She felt like a leech, sucking Adora dry and using her up for her own personal gain.</p><p>“You know… I just remembered,” Adora smiled. “Mermista let me know this morning that she and Sea Hawk were planning on travelling together for some time, and she needed someone to look after Salineas while she was gone… And I think that’s an offer for a certain duo to take up.”</p><p>“Us? Staying in Salineas for a few days?” Catra asked.</p><p>“Yeah. Take some time for ourselves, you know? I’ve heard that the way the stars reflect off the water is a sight to behold,” Adora said. Catra held Adora’s hand, thinking for a bit. Though, realistically, there wasn’t much thought needed.</p><p>“That sounds perfect.”</p><p>Adora smiled at Catra’s acceptance. “Good… because if we wanna make it before it gets dark, we kinda need to leave, like… now,” Adora chuckled. Catra shook her head.</p><p>“You never were a great planner,” Catra sighed. She looked at Adora again, and silence fell upon the two. Those ocean blue eyes of Adora’s were so damn easy to get lost in. It felt like time moved differently when Catra stared at them.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?” Adora asked in a whisper. Catra didn’t need to think twice. She tilted her head and accepted Adora’s lips, kissing before a view of Etheria. A gush of wind picked up and Adora’s hair gently swayed with the wind as Catra kissed the love of her life. These kisses were all the energy she needed as she tucked a strand of Adora’s hair behind her ear, breaking the kiss slowly and stroking Adora’s cheek with her thumb.</p><p>“I love you,” Catra whispered.</p><p>“I love you too, Catra. So… so much.”</p><p>Adora was the first to stand, making her way downstairs to leave the Fright Zone. Catra stood up after her, looking out towards the landscape and taking in her and Adora’s usual hideout.</p><p>But even with the tender kiss and Adora’s words, Catra felt a knot in her mind. Things just… weren’t clear. How was this love going to work in the long run given everything Catra had done? How long could Adora handle Catra’s mental state before she left her? Catra looked at the ground, sighing. Things were too good. Catra wasn’t used to good things lasting long.</p><p>Conflicted, Catra followed Adora, and headed for Salineas.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Claws</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was twilight by the time Catra and Adora arrived at Salineas. The sky was a deep shade of purple as the world turned to darkness, and the stars became more visible than ever.</p>
<p>Salineas was under the phase of a rebuild after it had been taken over by Hordak and nearly destroyed by Horde Prime, but it looked more populated than ever. Mermista had doubled down on rebuilding her empire after it was one of the first to fall. The gate was in almost pristine shape, and it nearly looked like a luxury to be in.</p>
<p>Adora was looking forward to spending some time here, but mostly she was looking forward to being alone with Catra. She loved her girlfriend, and she could tell there was a lot of things on her mind. Understandably so, considering everything that had transpired. The night terrors Catra had been having remained as prevalent as ever. Adora was concerned, and she was completely lost on what to do for her. She tried, but Adora was worried it was not enough.</p>
<p>When they disembarked the ship Mermista had arranged for them, Catra looked around and saw a kingdom she had participated in destroying not too long ago. She remembered exactly what she did to each building, and how much she tormented every person here. She was happy to see it rebuilt, but she just wished it never had to be rebuilt in the first place.</p>
<p>“So,” Adora started, bringing Catra to reality. “Mermista has arranged a place for us to stay just at the end of this path, near the edge of Salineas. It’s apparently got an amazing view and is super comfy to stay in.”</p>
<p>“Well, I mean, compared to the Fright Zone, anything is luxurious,” Catra scoffed, and Adora chuckled along with her. “I can’t believe that while I had to deal with all the stiff beds in there, you had five hundred cushions in Bright Moon. That is so unfair!”</p>
<p>“Okay, to be fair, all of those cushions were super unnecessary. I barely used any of them. Plus, the bed just… sunk! It wasn’t that great!” Adora tried to defend herself as Catra simply checks out her own claws, mostly ignoring her.</p>
<p>“Yep, you definitely sound like a princess,” Catra said in an almost monotone voice. Adora opened her mouth to retaliate, before simply groaned and slugged Catra in the arm. No matter what she went through, Catra would always retain her attitude.</p>
<p>However, when Catra looked up from her claws, she saw the people around her. The buildings in the process of reconstruction. She saw fear. People looked at her and almost immediately moved away from her, or avoided eye contact. Catra looked around and saw a result of her horrible actions. The consequences of her destruction.</p>
<p>Catra looked to the floor and tried to make herself as small as possible. She felt the eyes of every single person in Salineas glare at her. When Adora glanced over, she noticed Catra acting strange. It wasn’t hard to figure out why, and Adora put a hand on her shoulder. “Can we please just walk faster?” Catra asked in a hoarse whisper.</p>
<p>Adora obliged. Catra couldn’t bear to look up. She felt her throat tighten up, and her breath began to run short. “Adora, I can’t,” Catra spoke quickly. “I can’t, I… I can’t breathe. Adora, I can’t breathe.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to go back?” Adora asked. Catra immediately shook her head. Not another burden. Catra didn’t want to ruin another thing between her and Adora. Catra didn’t want to be the weight that brings Adora down all the time, and she started to walk faster ahead, not giving Adora a chance to consolidate with her as they soon entered a large, almost golden building.</p>
<p>Catra took in long, deep breaths as soon as she was alone. Adora reached out and put a hand on her back, rubbing in circles in an attempt to comfort her love. The feeling of Adora’s hand sent tingles throughout Catra’s spine, and restored some air in her lungs. Slowly, her focus came about and she looked up to find Adora’s concerned face looking down at her. Catra reached out and put a hand on Adora’s cheek. She pushed her forehead against Adora’s, and softly sighed.</p>
<p>“You okay?” Adora asked, and Catra nodded.</p>
<p>“It wasn’t a full one. But… it was close,” Catra replied. Adora took Catra’s hand in her own, and the fingers intertwined as they embraced each other. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“I am, too… I should’ve realized this place would be bad for you,” Adora spoke sadly. Catra felt a sting in her heart, hearing Adora’s voice at that tone. Apologetic. Guilty.</p>
<p>“No, no… I’ll be fine. Alright? Just… give me a bit to get used to it all,” Catra responded as she slowly backed away from Adora.</p>
<p>Adora stared at Catra sadly, but knew that Catra wouldn’t change her mind on this. Adora started to walk ahead of Catra towards a staircase. “Our place is on the top floor.”</p>
<p>Catra watched Adora walk ahead, and whispering, she cursed herself. “I’m such an idiot… Why can’t I just control myself? Why are you such a damn idiot, Catra? Why can’t you do anything right?” Catra growled at herself, before running a hand through her hair and sighing with frustration. “I’m such a worthless piece of crap.”</p>
<p>Catra followed after Adora up the flight of stairs and into the door at the very top. The bright moon had nearly completely sunk behind the ocean floor by the time they entered their room, and Catra was met with a room that she could never even dream of.</p>
<p>A single large bed in the middle with a balcony to the right, displaying a view of the ocean, the coast, the moonset and the stars. The floor felt comfortable, a soft material to soothe Catra’s bare feet, and an actual kitchen to the left. It was about the size of Adora’s bedroom back in Bright Moon, but it definitely fit the definition of comfortable.</p>
<p>Adora looked around, but was almost immediately drawn to the sight of the balcony. She rushed out to see the moon slowly descend behind the ocean, and its light shined on Adora. Catra stood behind her, and Adora’s body cast a shadow onto Catra as she approached her girlfriend.</p>
<p>Catra walked to the side of Adora, and placed her hand over Adora’s as they watched the sky slowly turn dark. Catra leaned her head on Adora’s shoulder as the stars began to shine brighter than ever. They reflected off the ocean surface, almost creating a second layer of stars on the ocean surface itself as it reflected all of these bright lights.</p>
<p>“Mermista wasn’t kidding,” Adora spoke. “The stars really do make the ocean look beautiful.”</p>
<p>Catra looked to Adora and without thinking, spoke. “Not as beautiful as you.”</p>
<p>Adora smirked, immediately snorting. Catra realized what she just said and immediately looked away as Adora began to laugh. “You know, I was almost hoping you’d say that as a joke, but you sounded so serious then!” Adora laughed as Catra couldn’t help but smile at her own absent mindedness.</p>
<p>“My self from a few months ago would’ve killed me for saying that,” Catra sighed as Adora tried to stifle her laughter. Catra never did get much opportunity to practice her flirting, and the results were obvious. The best flirting she had done was still at the previous Princess Prom.</p>
<p>“Catra… you just… You remind me every day why I love you so much,” Adora smiles as she wipes tears of laughter from her eyes. Catra scoffed, leaning on the balcony and looking at the ground beneath her.</p>
<p>It was nice that Adora could love her. Catra only wish she could see what Adora sees in her. She could never figure out why Adora loved her so much. It was a mystery that would probably go unsolved for life in Catra’s case. She looked over to see Adora also leaning on the balcony, and instantly the two made eye contact.</p>
<p>Catra looked at Adora’s lips, and Adora leaned towards Catra. She tilted her head and pressed her lips against Catra’s, the two of them closing their eyes and taking in nothing else but each other. It was a brief kiss, but it was almost magical with the sight before them. The stars reflecting off the ocean, but Catra was instead lost in Adora’s eyes.</p>
<p>It was their magical moment.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Why are you hurting us?”</p>
<p>Catra stood before a burning Salineas. Fire engulfed buildings, and Horde ships were swarming everywhere. Catra looked to the source of a voice, and saw a small child. A Salineas resident. They asked that questions like it was no big deal, their arms behind their back as they awaited Catra’s answer.</p>
<p>“I…” Catra stuttered, before shaking her head. “No… This is a dream. This isn’t real.” Catra was slowly growing used to these nightmares. She wasn’t going to allow herself to be haunted again.</p>
<p>The child looked towards the destroyed Salineas and shrugged. “Looks plenty real to me. I mean… This is your memory, after all. You did this.”</p>
<p>“That…” Catra backed away from the child. “That was… a mistake… I… I was just…”</p>
<p>“A mistake? You mistakenly destroyed my home and tormented my people? You just accidentally invaded all of my land and hurt everyone I love?” The child asked. Catra put her hands to her ears, shaking her head.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to… I was just… I know it was wrong, but…” Catra felt tears well up in her eyes, and soon enough, she tried to run away. She was stopped by the child yet again, as it almost teleported in front of Catra, causing her to fall back.</p>
<p>“You’re a monster,” the child spoke down to Catra. “You ruined everything, and all for what? Attention? Love? So that another person wouldn’t abandon you?”</p>
<p>“Stop… I know it was horrible, but… I had to… I just… I was so alone and I…” Catra knew that no matter what she said, it wouldn’t matter to the child. No one would listen to her. Catra was a monster, and nothing was going to fix that in anyone’s mind.</p>
<p>Catra stood up and ran the other way, but soon found herself transported to Horde Prime’s ship. She stood before a pool of green liquid. “This was when he chipped me…” Catra whispered, and tried to run, but was immediately grabbed by two of Horde Prime’s clones as they dragged her towards the pool. “No! Let go! Stop! Not again!”</p>
<p>Catra struggled and fought hard. She remembered the feeling of mind control. Like she was watching herself perform horrible actions but had no control. Like she was watching a movie, but couldn’t do anything to stop the characters from killing each other.</p>
<p>Catra screamed, her voice cracking and her lungs burning raw as the clones dragged her into the liquid, as well as preparing the chip that would be forced onto the back of her neck. No matter how much she screamed, or fought, or cried, she knew there was no stopping this.</p>
<p>Catra was thrown into the liquid, and fell into darkness. She fell for a few seconds before hitting the floor. She was transported to Bright Moon. To Adora’s bedroom. This nightmare was throwing her around like garbage.</p>
<p>Adora lay asleep in her bed, peaceful as ever. Catra almost wanted to go over and kiss her on the forehead. She smiled upon seeing Adora, thankful for some peace.</p>
<p>“Kill her.”</p>
<p>Catra heard Horde Prime’s voice in her ear, and felt at the back of her own neck. The chip had been implanted within her. “No, no, no…” Catra tried to protest, but was immediately pulled out of her body and forced to watch as Horde Prime took control.</p>
<p>Catra floated in darkness, and saw a screen ahead of her. She was watching herself from her own perspective, but she wasn't controlling her action. Catra was lost in the Darkness.</p>
<p>She screamed, but no sound escaped from her throat as her mind-controlled body extended her claws. Catra approached Adora, a beaming smile on her own face and her own eyes glowing green. In the Darkness, Catra was desperate for control. For something to cling on to. She had to save Adora.</p>
<p>As Catra stood over Adora, the princess’ eyes slowly opened. “Catra…?” Adora spoke, sleep mumbling her voice.</p>
<p>Without any control of her body, Catra was forced to watch as her own body placed a palm over Adora’s mouth, smothering her screams as she sunk her own claws into Adora’s stomach. Catra screamed as loud as she could from the Darkness, but still there was no sound. Tears were streaming down her face as Adora looked pleadingly at her. Catra sunk the claws deeper, but in her mind, she screamed louder.</p>
<p>Life began to leave Adora’s eyes as Catra’s body smiled gleefully. In the Darkness, Catra looked at her hands, and Adora’s blood coated them. She put her bloody hands to her face, leaving bloody handprints on her cheeks as she started hyperventilating, her heart pounding louder and louder, until...</p>
<p>Catra screamed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>She awoke again from the nightmare. Catra looked over to her right and saw Adora sleeping, her arm draped over Catra’s chest, cuddling her. She was breathing softly, and Catra felt tears stain her cheeks.</p>
<p>She slowly grabbed Adora’s hand, moving it off her body as she snuck away from her, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and planting them on the soft floor. Catra buried her face in her hands, and shuddered. Her hands shook violently, and she stood up, heading for the bathroom.</p>
<p>Catra looked at herself in the mirror. Tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were burning red. Bags were forming underneath her eyes, and her breaths came out in shudders. She ran some cold water and splashed it across her face.</p>
<p>Catra looked at her claws. She remembered using those claws to kill Adora against her will in her nightmare. Those same claws had harmed Adora in the real world. They had harmed so many people, people that didn’t deserve to be harmed.</p>
<p>She extended her claws. They had to be good for one thing. If they were to harm anyone, they had to harm someone who deserved to be harmed. They had to be used to protect Adora from any danger. To protect Entrapta. To protect Scorpia. To protect Melog.</p>
<p>Catra raised her left arm, and with her hands still shaking, she pressed her right, index claw against her forearm.</p>
<p>She pushed the sharpness in deep, and slowly began to drag her claw across her arm. Catra gritted her teeth, loud shudders of breath escaping from her mouth. It stung, but in a way, she felt a sense of justice. Like she was punishing the one that deserved to be punished.</p>
<p>She made one mark. Looked at it. Admired it. It was hers, and she had harmed someone that deserved to be harmed. She let out long, deep breaths, and raised her claw again, this time going for a deeper cut…</p>
<p>“CATRA, STOP!”</p>
<p>Catra jolted and looked over to see Adora running towards her. She felt Adora suddenly grab her by the wrists and instantly pin her arms against the wall. Catra gasped upon seeing Adora’s face, wide eyed and tears beginning to form. “Why?! Why are you doing that?!” Adora asked desperately, and Catra was trying to look for an answer, but only three words managed to escape.</p>
<p>“I… hate myself…”</p>
<p>Adora, still keeping a firm grip on Catra’s wrists, instantly began to run a shower, using it to soak the blood off of Catra’s wound as Catra stared at nothing, her eyes wide with horror. </p>
<p>“Hold still,” Adora said, looking at Catra’s singular cut. She placed a gentle hand on Catra’s cheek, and her body began to glow gold, along with Catra’s. Thanks to She-Ra’s powers, she was able to mostly heal the deep wound, leaving behind a faint scar. Adora turned off the shower, and remained silent, running a thumb over Catra’s faint scar.</p>
<p>“I…” Catra spoke, but her voice choked up and wobbled. “I am… so sorry…”</p>
<p>Adora wrapped Catra in a tight hug, placing a hand on the back of Catra’s head. “I… didn’t realize you were in this much pain…” Adora spoke. “I should’ve talked to you, I should’ve… Catra… I don’t hate you. I promise I don’t hate you,” Adora began to choke up, but she desperately tried to hold back tears. “I love you so, so much… I…”</p>
<p>Catra slowly backed away from the hug. There was a gigantic pit in her stomach, and a hole in her heart that ate away at her from the inside. She was causing Adora pain. She could see it. The tears welling up in Adora's eyes. The break in her voice. Catra was supposed to make Adora happy, and she felt like she was failing.</p>
<p>“Can we…” Catra whispered. “Can we… go to bed… please…?” Catra choked. There was so many things she wanted so say. So much self-hatred, anger, sadness and apologies she wanted to just explode with. She wanted to just let Adora know that she realized how worthless she was.</p>
<p>But Catra was just so tired, and she didn’t want to cause Adora any more pain than she already had.</p>
<p>Adora wanted to talk. She wanted to know what she could do for Catra, but she didn’t want to be overbearing. “… Okay,” Adora nodded, and took Catra’s hand.</p>
<p>As they lay together, and Adora pulled the sheet on them, Catra could barely stand to face Adora. She turned her body away from Adora, but still grabbed Adora’s hand and wrapped it around her own body. Adora held Catra close. She kissed the back of Catra’s neck.</p>
<p>Adora didn’t see the silent tears Catra wept as they lay together in misery.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra looked into the water, and saw the reflection of a monster.</p>
<p>She stared into her eyes, and saw only hatred. Evil. Someone who could only harm others and could never bring good into anyone’s life. Catra hated what she saw. She hated the reflection in the water. She wanted to reach out and kill it. She wanted nothing more than to see this reflection suffer for what it had done.</p>
<p>When she reached out a hand, she saw her scar on her arm. It had faded, but it stuck out to her. What she had done to herself the previous night was still stuck to her and would not let go. She could remember the look of horror in Adora’s eyes when she caught her. A look of sadness and suffering that Catra had… almost grown used to.</p>
<p>Catra always was causing Adora pain after all.</p>
<p>“Catra!”</p>
<p>Catra looked up and saw Adora in the water, running a hand through her own wet hair. “You coming in?” Adora asked, reaching out a hand. Catra stood on a boardwalk, wearing a swimsuit Adora had picked out for her. She looked at Adora and saw her smile.</p>
<p>Of course Adora had to smile. There was no other choice. Adora was trying her best to make this day positive for Catra, to try and take her mind away from what had happened the previous night. Catra stared at Adora with an almost blank expression, like she was looking into the distance. “You… you don’t have to, Catra,” Adora said, her hand slowly lowering as Catra stared at her.</p>
<p>Finally, Catra snapped back to reality. “What was that?” Catra asked, shaking her head.</p>
<p>“I was asking if you… wanted to come in. The water’s nice. We never did get to swim together in the Fright Zone,” Adora explained. She glanced at Catra’s scar, wondering f the water would hurt her at all. She-Ra’s healing had done wonders, but she didn’t know if it was enough.</p>
<p>“Um… Yeah. Okay, sure,” Catra responding, slowly sinking her legs into the water, before submerging herself underneath. This boardwalk was right outside of the place they were staying at, and the only people swimming were them.</p>
<p>Catra felt the ocean surround her, and it was almost a sense of peace. Her body felt weightless as Adora swum over to her, and took her hand. Catra interlocked her fingers with Adora’s. “See? I told you it was nice, right?” Adora smiled as Catra placed Adora’s hand on her own cheek, sighing softly.</p>
<p>“Yeah… you were right. Like always,” Catra smiled. Adora’s smile, however, faded a little bit. This wasn’t like Catra at all. No comeback. No energy. Adora stroked Catra’s cheek with her thumb.</p>
<p>“Is there… anything else you want to do today?” Adora asked, to which Catra simply shrugged.</p>
<p>“I’m okay with… whatever you want to do,” Catra replied, not even looking Adora in the eyes. Adora slowly turned Catra’s head to look at her, and finally, Catra’s eyes met hers. “Seriously. I’m okay with anything.”</p>
<p>“Catra…” Adora sighed, trying not to bring the mood down for her.</p>
<p>Catra knew she was ruining everything. It wasn’t exactly new to her to make other people miserable. She was used to bringing only darkness and misery to others. She just wished she could learn to stop. Glimmer told her to do one good thing with her life, but Catra doesn’t even know if she’s succeeded at that.</p>
<p>Catra, slowly, began to sink into the water. She submerged herself completely in the ocean, and immediately the sound of the sea hit her ears. All of the outside world was cut off when she submerged her ears underneath, and she felt the air leave her lungs.</p>
<p>It was nice down here, Catra thought. Not only was she not ruining anyone, she was going to die if she stayed down here long enough. Of course, Adora would never let her do that. But it was a nice thought.</p>
<p>However, instead of dragging her up, Adora simply sunk beneath the ocean surface as well. Both girls floated underwater, looking at each other with nothing but this large span of the sea to surround them. Catra slowly reached out and placed her hands on Adora’s cheeks as they stared at each other.</p>
<p>Catra hated looking into Adora’s eyes, but she couldn’t stop. Every time she did, she got lost in their beauty. But she also reminded herself of the hurt in those eyes the night before. The hurt when she activated the portal, or kidnapped her friends.</p>
<p>Catra slowly began to look away from Adora’s eyes, but she soon felt Adora move closer. She looked up, and saw Adora inches away from herself. Catra’s hands were still on Adora’s cheeks, and the sign was there.</p>
<p>Catra didn’t know if she deserved this, but nonetheless, she moved in. Completely underwater, both girls shared a kiss, tender and warm as they floated in nothingness. Catra tilted her head as she brushed Adora’s soft cheek, and Adora placed a hand on Catra’s hip.</p>
<p>Catra would be satisfied with dying right now. Sharing a kiss with the one she loved, surrounded by a blue depth, and no air to be found. That’s why she deepened the kiss, until Adora slowly brought them back to the surface as they separated.</p>
<p>Adora stared lovingly at Catra, but she could barely return the look. It hurt to look into Adora’s eyes anymore. They shined so bright, but they were never meant for Catra. Adora already had so many other friends, people she brought joy and love to. All Catra had ever done was bring about misery.</p>
<p>Catra swam to shore, heading back inside and leaving Adora in the ocean. Adora stared out at Catra as she left, and sighed. It was a hard position. She didn’t want to bring up last night, or overstep any boundaries.</p>
<p>But at the same time, if she didn’t talk to Catra soon, Adora was afraid of what was going to happen.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Catra lay awake at night as Adora held her close. She stared up at the ceiling, tired but not wanting to sleep. It had to be midnight now, but Catra had resigned herself to staying awake as long as necessary.</p>
<p>Catra sat up, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She looked down at the sleeping Adora. Her eyes closed, her breathing soft, and her hair laid out on the bed and on her body. Catra couldn’t help but smile, tucking a strand of Adora’s hair behind her ear.</p>
<p>Catra stood up and headed to the bathroom again. She started to run a shower, undressing herself and stepping in. The warm water hitting Catra’s body directly as she put a hand on the wall, sighing. She wanted to scar herself yet again, and see the blood run with the water.</p>
<p>But at the same time, she didn’t want to hurt Adora yet again.</p>
<p>Instead, Catra stood in the shower and almost hoped it would cleanse her spirit. It sounded ridiculous, it WAS ridiculous, but Catra would do anything at this point to just see some good within herself. She ran a hand through her short hair, and looked up at the shower head.</p>
<p>“Catra? You in there?” Adora asked from the bedroom. Of course she woke up. Catra wasn’t exactly being subtle.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Catra responded. “Sorry for waking you.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Adora said, standing up from the bed. “Can I come in or do you want to be left alone?”</p>
<p>Catra ran a hand over her arm. Over her scar. She looked at it for some time, before closing her eyes. “Sure. I don’t mind,” Catra said.</p>
<p>About thirty seconds passed before another body entered the shower with Catra. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Adora, instead facing the wall and rubbing her own scar. The two stood in silence, before Catra felt Adora’s hand on her shoulder.</p>
<p>The wet hand gave the same sense of comfort and security that Catra always received whenever Adora touched her. She slowly let her shoulder’s drop and let out the breath she had been holding in for far too long.</p>
<p>Adora slowly moved in, pressing her chest against Catra’s back and hugging her from behind. Her arm wrapped around Catra’s shoulder as Adora pushed her forehead against the back Catra’s neck, giving her butterfly kisses as Catra grabbed Adora’s arm and felt the love from Adora.</p>
<p>The shower hit them both as Adora held Catra, but most of the warmth came from their bodies. Catra gripped Adora’s arm tightly, and choked out a few words.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to lose you.”</p>
<p>Catra immediately felt her throat tighten as she spoke, and forced back the tears. Adora held Catra tighter, and Catra gritted her teeth, sucking in air to prevent the spillage of everything she had been holding in.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Adora whispered in Catra’s ear. Catra let out a single sob upon hearing that. It was so bittersweet. Adora really did love her. She really cared about Catra, and she really did risk everything to save her from Horde Prime and be there for her.</p>
<p>But Adora’s efforts were wasted on a monster, and Catra hated that. Adora had risked everything for a person that wasn’t even worth it. The water spilled at Catra’s feet and sunk into the drain as Adora held her.</p>
<p>Catra felt warm within Adora’s arms. But she also felt so full of hatred, and it was entirely directly at herself.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Catra leaned against the door that lead to the balcony as she watched the moon set. Adora had gone out to check on Salineas, but Catra stayed behind, not wanting to be on the streets if she didn’t have to be.</p>
<p>She crossed her arms, looking at her scar yet again and sighing. All of this build-up of emotion was really getting to her. The self-hatred she held in her heart was threatening to burst out at any second, and the more she held it in, the greater the hatred became.</p>
<p>She walked over to the balcony edge and put her hands on the railing. Catra leaned forward and glanced over, noticing the long, long drop below. It was as easy as one small jump.</p>
<p>She could picture what would happen afterwards. Maybe Adora would cry upon seeing it. Maybe she wouldn’t care. Maybe Scorpia would break down upon finding out the loss of her best friend. Maybe she’d be happy that Catra wasn’t there to torment her anymore.</p>
<p>Every happy thought in Catra’s mind was quickly extinguished by a miserable one, and she felt a sense of justification at these miserable thoughts. What has she ever done to justify being happy? She sought happiness through evil actions and she couldn’t even find it then.</p>
<p>Catra slowly lifted herself, swinging her legs over the railings and sitting on the balcony ledge. She watched the moon slowly sink behind the horizon, and the stars came out. She looked down at the drop. One small move, and everything was over. Everything was gone. No more suffering. No more agony. No more misery.</p>
<p>No more Adora. No more Entrapta. No more Scorpia. The ones Catra loved clung to her like a vine, preventing her from making this one, small step. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. The hurt she would cause would be so great, and her suffering would simply be burdened onto others.</p>
<p>Catra, after a few minutes, finally decided to return back over the ledge, and went inside the room. She stayed away from the balcony just in case she changed her mind.</p>
<p>Beyond everything, she felt tired. Maybe it was because she hadn’t slept for over a day now. Maybe she was just tired of everything that was going on. Catra felt completely and utterly devoid of life and joy, but every time she saw Adora, she felt just that little sense of light within her soul. Like everything was going to be okay.</p>
<p>She just didn’t know how long she could rely on Adora for. If Adora ever left, Catra was scared of what could happen afterwards.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It another night of staring at the ceiling. Catra could hear Adora’s snores besides her, and she desperately wanted to just cuddle up to Adora and enter the land of dreams.</p>
<p>But Catra knew that only death and suffering awaited her there. So, she stayed awake. No matter what. She brought her hands up to her face, and sighed, sitting up yet again.</p>
<p>“Catra, I’m really worried about you…” Adora spoke softly. Catra rubbed her eyes with her thumb and index finger, and glanced at Adora, who had now turned to face her.</p>
<p>“Why?” Catra asked in an almost seething tone.</p>
<p>“Do I need a reason to worry about the girl I love more than anything?” Adora asked. Catra sighed, standing up and going towards the balcony door, looking out at the night sky as Adora sat up on the bed. “You’ve been… not yourself lately.”</p>
<p>“Wonderful observation, Adora,” Catra sighed in frustration. “Next you’re gonna tell me that hurting myself was a bad thing, huh?”</p>
<p>“Catra, I’m… I only want to help you. I’m sorry if I haven’t been good enough at that, but you just seem so… sad. And I want to know what I can do to help you,” Adora pleaded. Catra knew she was lashing out again, but she felt like her grip was loosening. Everything was slowly spilling out.</p>
<p>“You can’t help, Adora. There is nothing that you or your stupid superpowers can do for me. I’m a freak and frankly, I don’t deserve to be helped. So stop wasting your time on me already,” Catra growled, now turning to face Adora.</p>
<p>“Catra,” Adora held up her hands. “I get that you’re not in a great place right now…”</p>
<p>“Not in a great place?!” Catra threw her arms out. “Everyone in this kingdom wants to see me choke and die, and frankly, I can’t blame them! I tormented them, traumatized them, and took away their sense of security!” Catra yelled. It was all spilling. There was no lid, no way to control this.</p>
<p>“Catra…” Adora spoke softly.</p>
<p>“I have never been in a good place, Adora, because a good place for me doesn’t exist! Okay?!” Catra panted. “I don’t deserve a good place! Frankly, I don’t deserve a scrap of love, or happiness, or anything! I barely even deserve a scrap of your… your… your pity!”</p>
<p>“I’m not pitying you!” Adora stood up. “I understand this feeling… Not believing in yourself, thinking that everyone hates you…”</p>
<p>“How could you ever understand?!” Catra screamed, tears now streaming freely. “You’re always surrounded by people who love you and adore you, because all you’ve ever done is help them! All you’ve ever done is be a hero while I’m the villain! I clung to the only thing I knew, and everyone hated and abandoned me for it! I… I’m so, so horrible, but I don’t even know how to be good anymore!”</p>
<p>“That’s not true!” Adora stepped towards Catra. “You have done great things, and you know it! You saved me… At the Heart of Etheria. I would’ve died without you.”</p>
<p>Catra looked away from Adora, turning her back to her love. “Adora… I wish you could just acknowledge it,” Catra spoke.</p>
<p>“Acknowledge what?” Adora asked, reaching out to place a hand on Catra’s shoulder. Catra immediately spun, slapping Adora’s hand away and screaming in her face as tears streamed down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“THAT I’M A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I DESERVE TO DIE!” Catra burnt her lungs raw, choking in a sob as Adora stared with wide eyes. “That I hurt so many people! I hurt you so badly! I’ve never done anything good, and I never will do anything good! I’m a piece of crap! Glimmer should’ve killed me. Hordak should’ve killed me. I should’ve killed me! The world would be a better place if I was just… just dead and forgotten!” Catra panted heavily. “If I was dead… I wouldn’t drag you down with me every day.”</p>
<p>Adora stared at Catra as she panted, the tears streaming as pain overtook her body. Catra put a hand to her own heart and choked out sobs of agony, the guilt sliding into her throat like a slug and choking the life out of her. Adora watched as Catra broke down, falling to her knees as she made noises that were always inhuman. She wept, and whimpered, and cried at Adora’s feet, but above all else, Catra felt a sense of rage at herself.</p>
<p>Catra wanted to crawl out of her skin and just completely destroy herself. She wanted to erase everything about herself and just never come back. She wanted to place Adora in a better position where she could be happy without Catra. She wanted to reverse everything she had ever done, up to the day she was born, so that none of the suffering she brought around would have ever happened.</p>
<p>Catra felt worthless. She felt pathetic. She felt like nothing.</p>
<p>Catra felt like a shell.</p>
<p>Adora, for the first time in her life, felt absolutely paralysed.  She looked down at Catra, exploding with her trauma, depression, self-hatred and guilt, and felt as if anything she did in this moment would only make everything worse. Adora slowly sunk to her knees before Catra, not even sure if she could touch her. She tried to choke out words, but they caught in her lungs. Adora gritted her teeth, watching Catra suffering and doing nothing was more painful than almost anything she had endured.</p>
<p>Adora, after all this, could only choke out the three words she truly meant more than anything else.</p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>Catra heard it. Beyond all the tears, agony and sobbing, she heard Adora’s words. And she felt like she had manipulated Adora into saying them. Slowly, Catra rose to her feet, tears still welling in her eyes, and she frowned at herself, returning with only a couple of words.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Catra turned around and immediately ran out the door. “Catra! Catra, wait!” Adora reached out. But she still stayed on her knees. What if Catra didn’t want to see her? What if she made things worse? What if this was for the best? Adora’s hand clenched into a fist, and she gritted her teeth tight, sinking the floor and letting tears let loose as Catra ran away.</p>
<p>And once again, Catra and Adora were apart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was night, and that meant barely anyone could see Catra as she cried almost an endless amount of tears.</p>
<p>She ran through Salineas, lit up by the stars and the lights of the city, feeling her heart pounding and squeezing her chest tight. She felt like a hole had been ripped in her stomach and was completely draining her. It’s not like she even had anywhere to go, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t see Adora again.</p>
<p>Everything was supposed to be fine now. No more Horde, no more Horde Prime, no more brainwashing and no more betrayal. Why did she still feel this way? The guilt clung to her back and dug its nails into her, and it wouldn’t let go. The nightmares haunted her, and wouldn’t stop.</p>
<p>Catra stopped for a few seconds, looking around to see barely anyone on the streets as she put a hand over her heart, choking out more tears. The sounds of sobs mixed with panicked hyperventilating were causing Catra so much stress, she felt like she was going to pass out. Her head felt like it had nothing in it, her ears were stinging and her chest felt like it was floating.</p>
<p>She took another step, and realized her legs felt completely numb. It didn’t matter to her. All she needed to do was leave. Leave behind Salineas. Leave behind these people. Leave behind the nightmares. Leave behind the trauma.</p>
<p>Leave behind Adora.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Adora, for the first time in a while, finally let out the pent up emotion that’s been building since Catra’s first panic attack.</p>
<p>She had no idea how to help Catra’s suffering, or if she was even doing anything to calm her. Now it had all exploded in her face. Adora thought of all the times she could’ve helped Catra. All the times they could’ve talked more. Adora felt completely and utterly useless.</p>
<p>She wanted to stand up. She wanted to give chase. But what good would that do? Catra wanted to be alone, and Adora never gave her that chance. She always felt like she was smothering Catra, and not giving her any room to breathe. It was suffering, having to decide whether to leave Catra alone with her possible demonic thoughts, or try and be there for her, but end up making things worse.</p>
<p>Adora didn’t even feel like she deserved to cry. She wasn’t the one suffering from the weight of guilt. She had no right to be as upset as Catra, but she felt like she always made it about herself. Adora almost wanted to beat herself up for being so stupid and not giving Catra what she needs.</p>
<p>But what did Catra even need? It was hard to even know, and Adora never even asked.</p>
<p>Adora swallowed, letting a few more tears flow, before slowly standing to her feet. The door was still open after Catra had ran through it. It was a cold night out, and Catra needed some place to stay anyway. Adora debated with herself. Giving chase to Catra was what she wanted to do. Catra couldn’t spend a night alone in the cold darkness of Salineas. But at the same time, how would Catra react upon seeing Adora? What if she freaked out?</p>
<p>Adora sat on the bed, running both hands through her long hair and sighing. This would all be so much easier if she had just asked, but she was always afraid of pushing Catra over the edge. This relationship felt so fragile to her, and she didn’t want to ruin everything. She’d spent so long away from Catra. She didn’t want to lose it all over again.</p>
<p>Adora looked over to Catra’s side of the bed, now empty and alone. She saw that Catra’s bedside drawer was open, and Adora raised an eyebrow. She went over and opened the drawer to reveal…</p>
<p>A red Horde jacket. Adora’s Horde jacket that she wore back when she was in a squad with Catra. This was the jacket Catra kept in her locker, even after Adora left.</p>
<p><em>“It… it smelled like you”</em>, is what Catra said when Adora found it. Even after the separation, with Adora joining the Princesses and Catra staying with the Horde, Catra had kept a little piece of her. A hope that she would one day be with the woman she loves so much.</p>
<p>Adora also saw something else in that drawer. The photo that was found in the Fright Zone. The one with her, Catra, Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio. She picked the photo up, inspecting it.</p>
<p>That day of being assigned to their squad, and Adora could remember how happy she felt that she and Catra would never be separated. That they always had each other, and nothing really bad could happen.</p>
<p>There was one more piece of paper in that drawer. Something Adora didn’t spot in the Fright Zone, but something Catra had kept with her nonetheless when they went there a few days ago.</p>
<p>Adora reached in and pulled it out to find an old drawing. It was crude, but she made it out to be her and Catra, both drawn as stick figures, surrounded by a love heart. Catra had drawn this, Adora almost instantly recognized it. She had never seen this before.</p>
<p>Even when they were kids, Catra knew her love for Adora. She had always wanted to be with Adora, and Adora really understood why Catra was so emotional about her leaving. And why she kept pieces of Adora around, even when they were mortal enemies.</p>
<p>Adora stared at the drawing, and couldn’t help but smile through the tears. She put her forehead against the drawing, sighing with a hint of joy. She had always loved Catra too. They were always together, and Adora loved being with her. Nothing could taint the time she had spent with Catra. No amount of gruelling training or abuse from Shadow Weaver would ever ruin the memories that she had of the woman she loved.</p>
<p>That’s why she couldn’t abandon Catra. Not now. They couldn’t end on this note, not after all this time. Adora understood this struggle, but they needed to talk, more than ever. In the end, maybe things would be okay.</p>
<p>Adora put the drawing and photo away, and put on her old Horde jacket. It was a tad small for her now, but she wore it nonetheless.</p>
<p>Adora ran out the door, and went to find her love.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Catra could barely comprehend where she was now, but it definitely wasn’t the city. She was up high somewhere, with Salineas still in sight with all the lights on. It was getting colder by the minute, but she didn’t care anymore.</p>
<p>She knew Adora would never forgive her now. Not after she had pulled this again. What kind of person would want to be with someone who ran away, had nightmares and scarred themselves? Catra had a feeling Adora wouldn’t chase after her. Not like she could blame her.</p>
<p>Catra was nothing. She had nobody, no love, no friends, no squad, no goals, nothing. She was a shell, and nothing was going to fill the empty gap left behind. She was a corpse still walking, and she didn’t deserve to stand at all. Not after everything she had done.</p>
<p>But even a heartless monster like herself could cry, and she did. Because even a heartless monster could still love.</p>
<p>She wanted to turn around and see Adora standing there. She wanted to go back and be with her again. She wanted to live a normal life where they never fought, and she never brought destruction, and she never made all her friends abandon her. Catra wanted to wipe everything that had happened in the past and start over.</p>
<p>But it was never that simple. Nothing was simple for Catra, and she had already grown used to that. There was nothing that could prevent pain.</p>
<p>And being left alone with her thoughts was the worst pain of all. She had nothing but silence and memories out here. When she looked up, she saw the child from her dream. They stood there, with their arms behind their back, still staring at Catra.</p>
<p>Catra had lost so much sleep that her nightmares were invading her reality.</p>
<p>“You made Adora hate you. This is really your fault, if you think about it,” the hallucinatory image of the child spoke. Catra walked past them wordlessly, but silently agreed with them.</p>
<p>“You’re a bad friend,” Scorpia’s voice spoke almost instantly after the child’s. Scorpia wasn't there, but her words were real.</p>
<p>“I know,” Catra whispered. She kept walking in no particular direction.</p>
<p>“You are utterly worthless,” Shadow Weaver sighed. Another ghost. “Look at you. I died for nothing, clearly. You still mope about and hurt everyone you love.”</p>
<p>Catra didn’t have the energy to fight back at Shadow Weaver, even if she was a hallucination. Shadow Weaver had died for someone who would ultimately end up as a nobody that no one will ever remember. Not even the one she loves most.</p>
<p>“Wasn’t it fun, though? Hurting Adora?” Catra looked up to see herself, but with glowing green eyes and a chip inserted in the back of her neck. Her hallucinatory indoctrinated clone smiled at her, and Catra could barely stand to look at herself. “Don’t you remember? Feeling her skin peel away when you clawed at it?”</p>
<p>“I found it more fun nearly bringing about the end of the world just to spite her,” Catra’s voice spoke yet again. This time, it was Catra from when reality was crumbling, half her body turned translucent. “We really scarred Adora there by nearly killing all of her friends. All because she told us not to open a portal. I mean, honestly, how sad can you get?”</p>
<p>All of these voices, even though none of them were real, they all burrowed into Catra’s head like worms, feeding on the last inch of happiness she had and completely invading her mind with the darkness she had pushed onto everyone else. She felt her legs collapse as Catra fell to her knees.</p>
<p>“Sister…” Horde Prime’s voice spoke. Catra looked up to see him, staring down at her. He wasn’t real, of course, but he still made Catra back away almost instantly, her eyes widening. “There’s no need to be afraid. We could’ve made great partners, you and I. The suffering you brought to this planet was almost enough for me to conquer it with ease. With you by my side, we would’ve had every corner of the universe in our hands. And you… could have been responsible for the downfall of She-Ra. You were close, too…”</p>
<p>Catra saw Horde Prime grin, and out of instinct, leapt forward and slashed at him with her claws. However, she simply phased through him.</p>
<p>And leapt straight down a vast cliff.</p>
<p>She was able to react just in time to cling to the side and slow her descent, but she still felt the sharp rocks of this steep hill smash into her as she rolled down the cliff. Cuts and scrapes being made with each impact she made with the cliffside before she finally reached the bottom, every part of her body aching and her skin feeling freshly peeled in multiple spots.</p>
<p>She was lucky to have not smashed her head anywhere, but she looked at herself to see plenty of blood and cuts covering her body. She had landed in sand, next to a dark beach. She stood up and felt nothing broken, at least not that she could tell.</p>
<p>The hallucinations were gone, but the scars they had left would never go away. Catra was almost thankful for the beating that the cliff had endured on her.</p>
<p>She continued running, even as the cold wind picked up.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Adora sprinted as fast as her legs could take her through the city, wind gushing past her ears.</p>
<p>Catra would be way beyond the city by now, so the question was where she went after reaching the end of it. She looked out to the boat they arrived on, but there was no signs that Catra had been there. Her heart was racing as Adora looked everywhere around her.</p>
<p>She was most afraid of Catra doing something that would hurt herself. After all this time, she couldn’t lose Catra like this. Not to a cold night.</p>
<p>The ocean was too vast to search, and it’s not likely Catra would get too far in the ocean. Therefore, Adora suspected one of the nearby mountains or landmarks. She sprinted to the left, climbing up a steep hill to get a better vantage point.</p>
<p>A cold chill blew past her as she climbed higher, but that only encouraged Adora more. She felt the wind blow on her skin as she scrambled to the top, panting as she stood up. The city lights shined in the distance as Adora scanned the ocean, and the beach.</p>
<p>Adora breathed in. “CATRA!” She yelled as loud as she possibly could, hoping to maybe get a response or just… something. Anything. She wanted to Catra to be alive. She needed Catra to still be here. As long as they were together, nothing really bad could happen.</p>
<p>“CAAATRAAA!” Adora yelled even louder, her lungs burning and feeling a chill thanks to the temperature. She scanned the beaches even closer, until finally, she saw a dark figure in the distance, running along the beach. “Catra!”</p>
<p>Adora had to scramble down back the way she came, tripping a few times but shaking it off as she rolled along the ground. She stood and ran onto the beach, going in the direction of the figure and hoping it was Catra. It had to be.</p>
<p>Adora could barely process reality anymore. Nothing mattered more than Catra in this moment. Catra was the one that had drove her to defeating Horde Prime and saving Etheria. Adora wished every night that Catra could see herself like how Adora sees her. A girl who is determined, brave and bold. A girl who was able to come around and was able to survive almost impossible odds. A girl who had worked alongside Adora to save a whole galaxy.</p>
<p>In Adora’s eyes, Catra was never a monster. She was just misguided by those she clung to. Catra always needed to cling to someone, because without that dependency, she couldn’t live. Adora wanted to guide her to a path that was not just leading to their relationship, but to a life where Catra was able to live free as an individual beyond anything else.</p>
<p>Adora panted, her lungs drying up but she still kept sprinting and sprinting. Catra, Catra, Catra… nothing mattered more in this moment than the girl she loved. Adora pumped her legs, looked at the sand and kept going and going…</p>
<p>Until she stopped. She felt a presence ahead and came to a stop, almost tumbling forward as she saw a familiar pair of feet. Adora looked up.</p>
<p>As the bright, beaming moon broke the horizon to rise on a new day, Adora’s eyes met Catra’s on that beach.</p>
<p>Catra stared at the panting girl before her as orange light began to fill the world. They stared at each other almost wordlessly as Catra looked Adora up and down. Slowly, she reached out a hand and touched Adora’s cheek, and when she felt actual skin, Catra gasped slightly, choking back tears. “You’re real...”</p>
<p>Adora grabbed Catra’s hand. “Catra…” Adora started. “I am… I’m so sorry… For not being a better partner to you. I… I should’ve talked to you more. I should’ve asked what you needed of me… what I could do for you… but I was so, so scared of losing you. I had no idea what to do when you had your nightmares and… I just… I need to do better. I know. I just…”</p>
<p>“Why are you apologizing?” Catra cut Adora off. “I’M sorry… I ran away again because I thought… I thought I could help you. That I was burdening you by being around all the time… That my panic attacks, my scars, my nightmares… Adora, I thought you were starting to hate me. And I thought if I left you now, it would… spare us the pain later.”</p>
<p>Adora felt tears run down her cheeks as she shook her head. “I can never hate you for that, Catra. You went through so many awful things that you didn’t deserve. I was always prepared to help you, no matter what, and I promise I would tell you if it was getting to me. Your trauma was never going to be a strain on our relationship. I just… wanted to do more.”</p>
<p>Catra smiled, even through the tears. “You… help me so much, Adora, just by being there. I don’t have to be alone because I have you. Just… your hugs, and your comfort are all I need. I just… wanted to know that it was okay. That I wasn’t constantly annoying you. I’m such an awful person that… it felt natural for you to hate me. I thought you would eventually.”</p>
<p>“You’re not an awful person, Catra,” Adora responded immediately. “You just… you were put in awful situations and you were stuck there. I never hated you. You were just misguided. I just wish I could’ve been there for you more… and I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.” Adora grabbed both of Catra’s hands as they stood on the beach, basked in warmth. “You say you hate yourself so much and it… I get it, Catra. I doubt myself so often, and I’ve always blamed everything on myself. But please…”</p>
<p>Adora stepped forward. “I want to help you love yourself, Catra.”</p>
<p>Catra looked at Adora, completely speechless. “Didn’t I say that back in the Fright Zone? I obviously can’t fix everything but… I want to help you on this path through your life. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how long it takes. There’s no time limit for learning how to accept who you are. That’s a journey that only you can take… and you can decide if you want a little help along the way.” Adora smiled. “I can only hope I can be that little push you need, Catra. So that one day you can see yourself the way I see you…”</p>
<p>Adora squeezed Catra’s hand. “As the most wonderful person I’ve ever met… and the girl I want to love for the rest of my life.”</p>
<p>Catra felt her bottom lip wobble slightly, letting out a choked sob. “You… it won’t… burden you? I don’t… make you annoyed?”</p>
<p>Adora shook her head. “This is what I want, Catra. To help you. And maybe… I’ll be able to grow alongside you.”</p>
<p>Catra stared at Adora for a few seconds, feeling on the verge of a complete joyful breakdown. All the fear she had about being abandoned by Adora were nearly completely swept away, and she felt the weight of a giant lift off her back. Stupid, dumb, superhero Adora. Catra could only respond with a few words.</p>
<p>“Can I kiss you?”</p>
<p>Adora let out a slight chuckle, before embracing the one she loved in a sweet kiss as daylight shined upon the two of them on that beach. Now, more than ever, Adora's lips felt so warm. Catra felt as if she was basked in the pureness of love itself as she kissed Adora. It felt almost identical to the one they first shared at the Heart of Etheria. A complete sense of satisfaction, and a desire to spend a lifetime with this woman. Catra put a hand on Adora’s cheek, and felt like the world was a little brighter.</p>
<p>When she was with Adora, nothing really bad could happen.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Adora and Catra walked back to Bright Moon, having left Salineas after Mermista and Sea Hawk returned. They held hands as they walked through beautiful fields and stunning nature. The day was bright, and the sky was glowing.</p>
<p>As they walked, they encountered a familiar place. The Fright Zone, looking the same as when they left it a few days ago, covered in moss and nature. Both of them stopped to stare at it as their hands tightened together.</p>
<p>This was the place where fear, anxiety and dread was birthed within them. The abuse they endured, the suffering put upon them, and the way it turned them against each other. It wasn’t something easily forgotten. You can’t overcome trauma in a day.</p>
<p>Catra didn’t expect to. She was still left with the memories of Shadow Weaver, Horde Prime and everything that had happened ever since Adora abandoned the Horde. It was worth a lifetime of trauma, and the scars would take time to heal.</p>
<p>But time never stopped. Every passing second, Catra was surrounded by the people who she loved and cared for. And despite her anxiety, they cared for her too. Scorpia, Entrapta, Melog. They all loved her too. Catra knew she had people to surround herself with, and a family she had chosen. Maybe it wasn’t her blood relatives. But it was the people that made her happy. And really, that's what family is.</p>
<p>Catra smiled at the Fright Zone, and defeated its aura of evil and hatred. She walked away with Adora, leaving behind the place her fears developed, and walking towards new light. A new hope.</p>
<p>The world was beautiful, and Catra would always have hers.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <em>The End</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really can't thank you all enough. It's been so, so long since I've actually completed a fanfiction. I had so much fun with this one, too. It was nice to put the writing skills I've learned in university to good use. I just really hope y'all enjoyed it. Hopefully I'll be back with another fanfic for these two dorks in the future. Until then, take care and stay safe &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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